Put a Lou Dobbs Song in your Status Day III

December 13, 2010 § Leave a comment

We at Arthur have a pretty strange sense of humor, and nothing illustrates that better than Put a Lou Dobbs Song in Your Status Day, which is, coincidentally, today!  If you need a bit of stress relief from finals, or just want to know why we keep putting Lou Dobbs on our covers, here is our answer.  Check out the origin story on the Facebook page, or after the jump.

Now, all together:  “Just a small town girl, living in a Lou Dobbs worllllllddddddddd….”

How to Play:

…On the first day of finals—Monday, December 13th—take any popular, or not so popular, ditty and morph it so it’s about former CNN news anchor Lou Dobbs.


Oh, Lou Dobbs, Lou Dobbs! It’s a wild world. And it’s hard to get by, just upon a smile!

There’s a Lou Dobbs, waiting in the sky! He’d like to come and see us, but he knows he’ll blow our mind.

I saw Lou Dobbs kissing Santa Clause! Underneath the mistletoe last night!

And in case your wondering why we do such things, here’s the story behind this tradition:

The Story (by Erin Hart Wisti):

A long, long time ago in a magical land called the Upper Peninsula, my younger brother, Nick, and I used to watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart religiously. One fateful night during my senior year of high school, former CNN news anchor Lou Dobbs was a guest. Stewart introduced Lou Dobbs with much gusto, elongating the vowels in his name.

“And tonight, our guest is LooOOooUUuuUU DooOOooOOoobbs!”*

I glanced at Nick and said, “Why did he have to say it like that. It’s, like, two syllables.”

Nick answered by saying, “LouDobbs!” as quickly as he possible. I looked back and replied with a “LouDobbs” of my own, and we spent the entirety of the interview shouting his name as fast as possible. After this, the new trend affected the family, and it became a Wisti thing to look at another one of our clan and shout, “LOU DOBBS!”

Then, roughly three years later the joke was expanded upon. Now a junior in college, I was taking a screenwriting class that lasted for three hours in the basement of Morill Hall each Thursday night. As much as I enjoyed the criteria, I still had the collective tranquility of a toy poodle that swallowed a bottle of Adderall. Three hours of sitting still, not to mention while my work was being read, was simply too much to bear. I would always end class with a phone call to the only cure I could think of for this kind of pent up energy—Minori “Minority” Wisti. There was a kid in my screenwriting class whose screenplay was about a man who slips into fantasy worlds when bored or stressed and, as a result, often looses track of both time and reality. When I’m with my cousin, I know of what he speaks.**

One night, after what seemed like a particularly long class, I gave Nori a call. This was shortly after Lou Dobbs had mysteriously retired from CNN, making vague references to “other projects.” As Nori and I cruised down Grand River, we speculated as to what these projects might be. Move to California and patrol the border with the minutemen? Sneak off to Massachusetts to marry Anderson Cooper? Or pursue other venues, like writing an autobiography or working on some grand symphony? We decided Lou Dobbs was most likely pursuing a music career, and in the next year would come out with a chart topping record. And then, my life was changed forever, as Nori and I began to sing this tune:

Sometimes he’ll win. Sometimes he’ll lose. Sometimes Lou Dobbs is born to sing the blues. Oh, Lou Dobbs never ends. He goes on and on and on and on. Don’t stop, Lou Dobbs! Hold on to Lou Dobbs!

And the rest, as they say, was history. We spent the rest of the evening—and, really, the rest of the semester—thinking up more ditties that involved America’s most insane newscaster. Lou Dobbs songs began appearing in our statuses and the statuses of others. Given that I had such a stressful semester and that, absurd as the practice was, writing Lou Dobbs songs was helpful, I decided to reach out to others. I created, “Put a Lou Dobbs Song in Your Status Day!”, an event intended to reduce stress on the first day of Finals Week. To my surprise, not only did MSU students participate, but we had people joining in from my high school, the high schools of my friends, out of state colleges, and even one international contribution from France. At the next Lou Dobbs Day, there were even more people participating. I had become an underground success on the internet, my proudest achievement since coming to MSU!

So, back by popular demand, I bring you, “Put a Lou Dobbs Song in You Status Day Part Kolme.” As finals week begins, let’s all take a rest and laugh at the absurdity of America’s strangest newscaster, the one, the only Louis Carl Dobbs.

**See Dweebenheimer, Charlie

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